16 years. Nearly half my life. I got married when I was 20, barely more than a child. I had a 2 year old and a baby on the way. And this 21 year old BOY took my hand, and the hands of my children, and promised his life to us. His friends were partying or going to college, but this boy of mine went off to work. He managed to land an entry-level sales job (with NO prior experience and no college degree) and within four months he was the top sales guy! He learned to change diapers and he kept my car clean. He ate everything I tried to cook (LOTS of hamburger helper) and he never complained. He paid all the bills and drove a crappy car so that I could stay home with our kids. He watched me get chubby and frumpy and cranky, and yet he still came home every night after work. And 2 years after our wedding we had baby number 3.
It wasn't perfect. We lost the romance in the trenches of raising babies. He didn't know how to speak my "love language" and I felt lonely and neglected at times. I didn't see that each time he vacuumed my car or cleaned up the dishes he was saying "I love you".
We grew up together during those years. My "boy" became a man. He raised my son (who wasn't "his" by birth) as though he was, and then legally adopted him when he was 14. He sacrificed material things so that we could send our kids to private school. He read the bible and pursued God. He sought Truth with a passion and endeavored to become a man that honored God not just in word, but in deed. He stuck by me when things got rough and I nearly lost my way.
Sometimes this man of mine would get frustrated because the house was messy. Instead of picking up the children's books, he would kick them under the couch or the coffee table. (Out of sight, out of mind!) This drove me crazy!! But he always kept the yard nice. And when I went to a women's retreat one weekend he did 10 loads of laundry while I was gone!
He doesn't give me back rubs, or write me love letters, or surprise me with creative dates. But he KNOWS me and he loves me anyway. He works hard and has taken me on fabulous vacations. He ASKS me before he plans a night with "the guys". He leaves work early to make it to a football game, dance recital or a wrestling match so that our kids know they are valued and supported. He still never complains about my cooking! He encourages me to pursue my dreams. He his insanely generous with his money. And occasionally... he remembers to tell me that I'm the most beautiful girl at the party.
We don't always see eye to eye. These last few years of raising teenagers have been especially rough. We have yelled and screamed (ok... maybe I have yelled and screamed) and we both have spent a night or two on the couch. We have broken each other's hearts and said things that we've regretted. But he STILL comes home every night after work. He STILL keeps my yard nice and our bills paid. He STILL makes it to the sporting events and works hard at his job. And even during a season of trial and frustration, he indulged me and the kids with a trip to Mexico for a week so that we could "play" as a family.
He lets me crank my obnoxious music while I'm in the shower, and he knows when to pour me a glass of wine. He watches LOST and American Idol with me and even voted for HOURS with me so that David Cook would win Season 7!! He makes up silly nicknames for me and makes up ridiculous songs about every random thing. He sends me text messages that make me smile.
My husband is not a perfect man, but I know that he is perfect for me. His rough edges make me sharper and his strengths balance my weaknesses. I am proud to hold his hand or walk beside him in public, and I know that he is a man that my kids can look up to.
I hope and pray that I will have the privilege of growing old with this man. There are so many things that I still want to experience in this life, and I want it to be HIM that I experience them with! I know he will be a hilarious and crotchety and generous old man... and I know that he will still need me to be the yin to his yang.
Happy anniversary, Baby. You are still the sexy boy in my math class, the coolest Dad on the block, the man I respect, and my very best friend!! I love you.
