Failure??

I'm feeling like a blog-failure. I really want to blog. I read all these fabulous things that other people have written and I so want to join the club, be part of the in crowd. But I seriously think I have some sort of weird blogging disorder. A disease of sorts. I think it stems from the insecurity/fear/procrastination/laziness/perfectionist gene and then is magnified by the fact that I really don't understand the world of blogging. I don't really know what I'm doing or how it works and thus I feel like a poser. A Blog Impostor, if you will.

It's like there's this whole blog-savvy, techno-creative society out there that is whizzing by me at the speed of a cyber-second and I'm the only one who didn't receive the instruction manual. They are witty, intelligent, proactive, challenging and artistic... they post pictures and links and references... and I am here, wrestling with my thoughts, struggling with the format, agonizing over content... and thus I never begin. I'm failing before I even start. I'm insecure and intimidated and actually a little embarrassed over what I don't know about blogging. I want to be farther along, established, comfortable, confident... but I guess everyone had to start somewhere.

What if... I just write what's on my heart and mind. What if it doesn't have to be grammatically correct, or witty, or profound... What if I don't even let myself stop to think about it before I begin typing?? What if I just write.

Maybe no one but me will ever read it. Do I care?? Who am I really writing for anyway? But, honestly, I do think I have something to say. I have experiences and thoughts and insight that is worth something. I haven't done a lot in my life, but my particular journey has merit of its own. Even if it never reaches another persons eyes, or touches another heart... this is my life, and it's worth writing down.